Farmer Watermelon

Suit yourself, but don’t come crying when there are no handouts.

Everyone will tell you this is a dump, but it was nice before that portal opened.

Are you already begging for a job?

You know what I say to that? To hell with the portals!

I’ll ask a local if anything comes up.

These pipes of mine, I tell you, are more temperamental than a wet hen.

Every other day, they’re springing leaks. I’m beginning to think portal jumpers are opening them.

I was born here in Kwalat, and I earned what I have here. No handouts!

Clear off. You never know when a pipe might spring a leak.

I’m just fantastic. It would be even better if my farming system actually worked.

Kicheki! I’ve been working myself to the bone since I was a wee lad.

So you’re just going to leave me in this dreadful situation, how surprising.

The government said I had to start growing these darn watermelons.

Help? From the likes of you?

You’re in Goldenfield Village, my home. MY home, got it?

You bet your boots I could use some help.

So here I am, knee-deep in mud and pipe grease. Just another day in paradise, eh?

Got those parts from the Junkyard. Should never have trusted those filthy portal-jumping tramps.

No need for help, unless you can make these pipes stop leaking.

Alright then, I guess I’ll handle it myself. Just like always.

Don’t dawdle! I’ll be here, fixing this bloody barometer!

All your kind are the same. Now get off my property!

I understand that you have no bloody soul, you outworlder jerk.

We shouldn’t be giving those folks free food and bread. Disgusting!

I suppose I’ll make you useful for something.

And who has to fix them? Yours truly. Why don’t you take some responsibility?

Find and replace leaking pipes with new ones. You can usually find them in barrels or crates.

Now I’m incredibly busy fixing pipes and yelling at leaks. It’s a nightmare, let me tell you.