Frank
Dialogue
Got any secrets for me today?
Look who's back!
Got mail, got gossip.
Hey, you troublemaker.
Found your love letter – just kidding, or am I?
Post's here, you nosy lot.
Oh, it's you again.
Mailing as much chaos as usual?
Who am I? Your friendly neighbourhood postman, Frank.
Started in a mailroom where robots went rogue—fun times.
Accidentally zapped through a portal, ended up here in Riverrise.
I'm the guy who keeps this post office barely functional.
Pretend all you want, but we both know I run this place.
How am I? Living the dream, mate.
Just framed the Postmaster for mail fraud; let's see how he likes that.
If this place doesn't kill me, the laughter will.
You should have seen the Postmaster's face—priceless.
This post office? Not the worst cesspit I've sorted mail in.
Sure, it’s a dump, but at least we don’t have radiation leaks. Yet.
Between you and me, some days are like a holiday compared to the dystopian nightmare I came from.
The folks here think they've got mail problems? They haven't seen true hell.
Used to have to chainsaw demons just to deliver papers.
Ha! You wouldn’t last a minute.
Trust me, this is beyond your pay grade.
Don't bother; you’d just mess it up.
Nah, you’d probably just lose a finger.
Appreciate it, but you’d be more of a liability.
I'll pass, unless you've got a death wish.
Thanks, but I like watching you struggle from a safe distance.
No offence, but I’d rather not babysit.
Sure, if you think you can handle this mess.
Yeah, I’ve got something, but it ain't for the faint-hearted.
Think you’re tough enough? We’ll see.
Fine, but don’t come crying to me later.
Yup, got a job that’ll knock your socks off. Or worse.
Alright, but don't blame me if you regret it.
If you've got the guts, I've got the work.
Ready for a nightmare? Help away.