Old Tourist
Dialogue
Well, aren't you a sight!
How on earth are you?
Look who just arrived!
Hello there, hotshot!
What's going on, troublemaker?
Howdy, you rogue!
If it isn't my favourite bother!
Are you back for more?
Well, hot damn! I'm Hank McAllister.
I got sucked out of my cushy holiday in a netherworldly paradise to this shithole.
Over in my old haunt, there were no monsters, no work - just a whole lotta sun, surf, and booze.
Kinda miss it, not gonna lie.
But hey, who needs all that lazy relaxation when you've got adventure waiting, right?
Aw, you know, I'm doing just peachy, thank you for asking.
I was travelling with a brave adventurer these last few weeks.
He died trying to clear the way to Crypt City.
Poor bastard didn t stand a snowball's chance in hell, bless his heart.
The monsters out there are tough as nails and meaner than a rattlesnake in a heatwave.
But hey, you look strong! I bet you could beat 'em.
If you make it back, I'll even have a cold one waiting for you!
So many trees, and I mean so many damn trees.
Looks like nature went on a bender and threw them all up, huh?
But hey, it’s got that rustic, quaint charm.
Like one of those fancy postcards you’d send your granny.
Honestly, I don’t know much beyond that.
I was drunk during the tour.
Oh hell yes!
You're a godsend, partner!
Damn right I could use a hand.
Knew you were a bloody hero!
You bet your sweet arse I need help!
A knight in shining armour, only more badass!
You're just the hero this shithole needs!
You certainly seem strong!
From a brave adventurer like you? Nice!
No bloody way, mate!
Gonna sit tight and finish my damn beer.
Some poor sod already signed up for the doom patrol.
I'm just here enjoying my brew.
Oh, hell no!
Already got someone out there dancing with danger.
Time for me to just kick back and chug this beer.
Hell no, partner!
Some other hero's out playing monster bait.
I'm kickin back with my favourite brew.
Nah, don't worry about it!
Some lunatic already took up the challenge.