C

Yoga Girl

Dialogue

Tiffany
NPC

Hi! Are you particularly enlightened or just happy to see me?

NPC

Namaste. Do you have any cannabis?

NPC

Namaste! That means "Hi!" in Sanskrit!

NPC

I can put one foot behind my ear. For a small fee.

Tiffany
NPC

I'm Tiffany Aurora, a spiritual voyager with a fantastic body from another world!

NPC

I came here with my friend Cassidy.

NPC

Back home, I was a professional dancer, but classy, understand? No touching!

NPC

Cass got me into that mystic mumbo-jumbo. I didn't really believe in it. Boy, was I mistaken!

NPC

I was getting spiritually cleansed by this mystic bloke when everything started glowing. The universe kind of exploded and we ended up here!

NPC

I mean, talk about your bad trips! Am I right?

NPC

Fortunately, we met up with Guru David. He's French.

NPC

He's a fake, sure, but he's all right.

NPC

He puts us up at his place.

NPC

At night we party with paying guests in the Yoga House.

NPC

I mean, a girl’s gotta live, even on this daft planet!

NPC

Okay, I guess.

NPC

I could use a puff of Mango Tango, but I'm not sure it even grows here!

NPC

Business has been pretty good.

NPC

We've been teaching the locals all kinds of new things!

NPC

Sometimes they pay us in cabbages or whatever.

NPC

We gotta eat, right?

NPC

This is Goldenfield. It's a village full of poor folks and things.

NPC

My friend and I live in the Yoga House with Guru David.

NPC

We teach special lessons at night. I call it "Yoga with Lube."

NPC

It ain't so different from what I was doing on my home planet, to be honest.

NPC

Are you open to an enlightening experience?

NPC

Wow. Really? That's so kind of you!

NPC

Why, thank you! I'm very grateful when people do me favours and things.

NPC

I do, but NO TOUCHING. Not without an invite, I mean.

NPC

I'm all set for now. It's almost time for another special lesson.

NPC

Nah. I'm too sore for any action.

NPC

My world is karmically balanced at the moment, thanks!

NPC

I'm fine. Go ask some poor person.