North Windstone Guard

Oh, I'm Thaddeus.

Born into a family of esteemed guards, so it was somewhat forced upon me.

To be honest, I’d much rather be curled up on a sandy beach with a romance novel.

The sight of blood... oh dear, it makes me feel queasy. I even vomit sometimes!

But here I am, armour and all, trying to uphold the family honour.

My heart races even at the thought of adventure, but not in a good way.

To be clear, I only do this to pay the bills. Definitely not my first choice of career.

Oh, dear, not great if I'm honest.

I just had to watch someone, um, kind of, well, explode...

A raider hit him right in the head with a grenade!

Got bits of him all over my armour, and I swear I'll never get it clean.

Blood and viscera everywhere... oh, the horror and, ugh, the stains!

It's enough to make anyone lose their lunch - believe me, I know.

I'd trade all this for a day at a spa, really.

Is it too much to ask for a little peace and cleanliness?

Oh, this is, uh, Windstone Village...

Dirty, noisy, and always on the brink of chaos.

I swear, if it weren't for the flowers here, I would have bolted ages ago.

The truth is, if this place ever gets invaded, I'm heading to a beach somewhere.

I'm sure the villagers will be fine...

Could you handle the, um, "icky" parts?

Take care of the scary stuff.

I'm, uh, not exactly the bravest soul around.

Could you deal with the more... gruesome tasks for me?

Yes, please! I prefer my foes to remain hypothetical.

I’m more of a dreamer than a doer, you see.

Fighting is just so... messy, don’t you think?

Oh, um, no thanks. I'm quite, uh, busy with my reading.

I’d rather not. I've got a compelling romance here.

I'm quite absorbed in this, um, fluttering butterfly.

Not now. The flowers are rather mesmerizing.

Oh, no, I've got my... um, hobbies to tend to.