Pappy Rick
Dialogue
Well, look who the intergalactic cat dragged in! Heh.
Aren't you a sight for sore eyes!
Mumbling space critters and all...
Heh, come to soak up some wisdom from old Pappy, eh?
By the gods' toenails, it's another one!
Let's have a chat.
Who'd have thought it! More company for old Pappy!
What's happening, you universe-hopping rascal!
By my dented helmet, another dimwit!
Come and sit for a while.
Well slap my space boots!
Hey there, kiddo! Fancy a puff of moon-dust?
Look what the portal spat out! Ha!
Got any spare smokes?
Come here, you! Ever tried Nebula-Nip?
Got a whopper of a story for you!
Well, well, well, the universe does provide!
What on earth brought you here, eh?
Heh, who am I? Isn't that a surprise? I used to be Pappy Rick, the legendary space cowboy...
I've spanned more universes than you've got brain cells, kiddo.
Heh heh, there's no dust-covered corner of the cosmos I haven't seen.
I was part of a crew... Bet you've never heard of the Warp Whalers, have you?
Heh, good old days... or were they the bad old days? Hard to tell.
I've got tales of interstellar heists, wild orgies, and enough forbidden substances to fry your brain.
Just muddling through life now, hawking pearls of so-called wisdom. And drugs!
Heh, name it, I've snorted it!
Want to smoke? Or maybe something a bit stronger?
Ah, well kiddo, I'm still kicking like a mule in a moon crater!
This old heart's still ticking like a rusty chrono-frog.
My leg's been acting up like a damned cyborg on a bad wiring day that time travel sneezed on a robotic chicken...
What on earth was I saying?
Heh, ever mixed stardust with swamp muck? Puts hair on your elbows, if you catch my drift!
My mind's a bit like a time-tangled jellyfish, but the stories are clearer than ever! Want a whiff of this wormstick cigar?
Huh? Where are we? Heh, thought you knew... but let me think.
Some kind of cosmic junkyard, isn't it? Or is it last week's cosmic vomit?
Heh, old Kwalat, they call it. Sounds like a sneeze. Bless you!
I reckon I've fallen through one too many portals. Hard to tell anymore, heh.
But old Pappy's been here so long, they should name a rat after me!
Hell, this dump is home. Isn't it grand?
I reckon it's as good a place as any to end up with your existential trousers down, heh.
Heh heh, always another mess to clean up...
Could use a hand with this cosmic cluster... sadly, that isn't a drug.
Got a task twistier than a moon-worm on roller skates.
Damn straight, I've got something that needs untangling.
Took you long enough to offer.
Heh, I reckon I could use a hand.
If you're itching for work, I've got something.
I've found myself in a pickle tighter than a gnome's corset.
Well, heck, looks like you drew the short straw.
Can't make heads or tails of it myself... or was it feet and ears?
Heh, nah, I'm good, kiddo...
I've already forgotten what the hell I need, heh.
Old Pappy's got this under control... sort of.
Unless you've got a 'remember-shit' potion, I'm good.
I'll sort it out. Or forget about it entirely, heh.
Just need to figure out what on earth I was doing.