Red Trees Druid
Dialogue
Damn it, another one!
Stupid tree! Oh, hi.
What on earth now?!
Get out of here, you horrid shrub!
Do you want something, leaf-brain?
Fucking foliage
Oh, it's you.
Hey, tree-hugger!
Are you here to watch the spectacle?
I'm Thorn Blightwood, a thorn in the side of these bloody trees.
I used to be a druid, now I'm a professional plant hater.
On my world, the plants only had kind things to say. Here... they're vile!
These damned trees drove me to madness, and I'm taking them down with me.
I've even gone vegetarian. I love hearing them scream as I chew!
Burn in hell, you green bastard! Oh, right. What was I saying? Yeah, I'm Thorn.
How am I? Just had a shouting match with a bloody fern!
That damn vine called me a 'sap-sucker.' Can you believe that rubbish?
I spent the morning yelling at a tree stump... again.
Those leafy bastards are relentless.
Oh, and Mary Jane Greenpuff? She kicked my backside, but at least she shared her stash after.
Imagine getting your backside kicked and then getting high as a kite.
I'm still plotting my revenge.
This dump? It's Westwind Woods, a hellhole for vicious plants.
These bastards whisper in the wind, calling me names like 'bark-for-brains.'
That damn dandelion called me a 'friggin' fungus,' can you believe it?!
I'd torch this whole place if I could. Oh wait, I know just the artifact for that.
There's a relic somewhere nearby that'll set this whole forest ablaze.
Imagine this godforsaken greenery turned to ashes. Such sweet, sweet silence.
Help? Bloody yes!
These damned leaf lickers need incinerating.
You bet your backside I need help.
These twig wankers won't burn themselves!
Let's wreak havoc on these green bastards!
Oh, bloody yes! I've got a vendetta and a lot of matches!
Nah, busy yelling at these leafy wankers!
Bugger off, I'm telling this tree who's boss!
Nope, these bark bastards need a verbal beating!
Keep walking, I'm in the middle of cursing out a shrub!
Not now! Busy insulting this bloody fern!