Roger Matthews

I-I'm Roger Matthews, or at least I think I am

You see, another bloke with my name showed up, claiming my house!

And I'm fairly certain he's a robot built to trick me, you know.

It's all a bewildering mess, really.

Came here for a peaceful retirement, and now I'm stuck in this confusing mix-up.

Terrance, the local guard, is trying to sort it out, but I swear that robot is out to get me.

Oh, it's a frightful business, truly!

That imposter Rogers Matthew he's lurking about!

I barely sleep, dearie, always keeping one eye open.

Can't even enjoy my tea without shivers running down my spine!

The double, he's got this eerie look, like he's plotting, always plotting.

Why, just yesterday, I found a suspicious note under my door.

I'm certain he's out to get me, end my days, he is!

My heart can hardly take the stress, but oh, I'm trying, bless my soul!

Well, this is supposed to be... um, my house, I believe?

At least, that's what they told me when I arrived here.

Maybe it's the other Rogers's... or maybe neither!

All this confusion is quite dreadful, I must say!

Oh, heavens no! You'd only make it worse...

Oh, dear, no. Best not involve yourself in my mess.

No, no, stay back! I wouldn't wish this nightmare on anyone!

I'd rather not drag you into this frightful debacle.

Oh, if you insist... There's a small matter, if you don't mind?

Well, there is something... but do be gentle.

I shan't say no to a spot of help... if you're brave enough.

Heaven help me. Alright, let's get to it, shall we?

Oh dear me, I'm Roger Matthews.

Just a simple old farmer from the outskirts of Leithana.

I was quite content tending to my cabbages and roses, you see.

But now I've been dragged into this dreadful muddle over some draft.

They've mistaken me for someone else entirely, I'm afraid!

And now that someone wants me dead...

I shouldn't have to deal with this at my age!

Blast it all, can't they see they've got the wrong bloke?

This is utterly intolerable!

If I were to shoot a gun, my arms would pop right out the joints!

We're at some shithole! I barely survived the ride out here.

Guess I'm supposed to be in charge of this outpost... or he is.

Buggered if I know. Maybe I'll just beat this guy's arse.

Oh, um, n-no thank you, I really shouldn't impose.

That's very kind, but I'd rather handle it myself, if that's alright.

I appreciate the offer, but I must politely decline.

Oh dear me, no thank you! I can manage, I think.

N-no, no, but thank you all the same. Mustn't trouble you.

Please, don't worry about me. I'll sort it out somehow.

Oh dear me! Yes, I desperately need some assistance.

Good heavens! If you could help me sort this out, I'd be ever so grateful.

Yes, please! I'm in quite a frightful muddle and need help.

Oh, if it's not too much trouble, could you help an old man?

By all means, yes! This mix-up has me beside myself with worry.