Lyra Thornfeld

I'm Lyra Thornfeld. I'm a Lightbearer.

We stand guard night and day.

The creatures inside the Valley are abominations. They killed my family.

I hate them with every fibre of my being.

I hate them worse than even street mimes.

Street mimes creep me the hell out, you know? They should be locked in their invisible boxes and thrown in the river.

But I digress. You watch your step. I will tolerate NO interference in the performance of my duties!

I'm tired, my armour chafes, and I think there's a dead snake in my boot.

But I am steadfast!

Trust in the light, and it will never lead you astray. Amen!

This place can change you in odd ways.

I don't know if he's losing his mind or what, but it's sexy.

Turn your back while I adjust this cuirass. It's giving me a rash.

Welcome to the Valley of Sins!

This land was once lush and vibrant, but now it's a nightmare of mutating flesh and hostile abominations.

It's a cancer, slowly spreading across the land.

We Lightbearers fight to contain it, but lately the Valley has started to infiltrate Westwind Woods.

If we don't stay vigilant, it will corrupt everything.

The world will be overrun with evil blobs of carnivorous snot and I will not let that happen.

You seem capable enough. Let's find out.

You're brave, I see. And foolish. Yes, I do need assistance.

Why not? My partner is too sexy – I mean busy – to assist me.

If you don't mind almost certain death, sure!

Not now. The giant anuses are on the move.

Not right now: the valley is pretty active today.

No. Please go away and stay out of trouble.

Not from you. You're not ready for what infests this valley.

It's too perilous right now. Come back when things settle down.

My new partner over there and I are assigned to patrol this section of the Valley of Sins.

I got a new partner, Morick. I didn't know him that well. Why bother when they die so fast? But I did quickly realise he was an arsehole.

When something dragged him off, I figured that was it: another arsehole bites the dust. No big loss, am I right?

Then he came back, alive and kicking. And you know what? That smug little shit was a changed man!

He was smarter and kinder and less of an arsehole. How does that happen? Did nearly getting eaten cause a change in attitude?