Old Tourist
Dialogue
Well, aren't you a sight!
How the hell are you?
Look who just showed up!
G'day there, hotshot!
What's up, troublemaker?
Howdy, you little rascal!
If it isn't my favourite pain in the backside!
You back for more, are ya?
Well, hot damn! I'm Hank McAllister.
I got yanked out of my cushy holiday in a netherworldly paradise to this dump.
Over in my old haunt, there were no monsters, no work - just a whole lotta sun, surf, and booze.
I kinda miss it, not gonna lie.
But hey, who needs all that lazy relaxation when you've got adventure waiting, right?
Aw, I'm doing just fine, thanks for asking.
I was travelling with a brave adventurer these last few weeks.
He died trying to clear the way to Crypt City.
Poor bastard didn t stand a snowball's chance in hell, bless his heart.
Monsters out there are tough as nails and meaner than a snake in a heatwave.
But hey, you look strong! I bet you could take them on.
If you make it back, I'll even have a cold one waiting for you!
So many trees, and I mean so many bloody trees.
Looks like nature went on a bender and spewed them all up, huh?
But hey, it’s got that rustic, quaint charm.
Like one of those fancy postcards you'd send to your nan.
Honestly, I don't know much beyond that.
I was a bit tipsy during the tour.
Oh hell yeah!
You're a bloody lifesaver, mate!
Damn straight I could use a hand.
Knew you were a proper hero!
You bet your sweet arse I need help!
A knight in shining armour, only more hardcore!
You’re just the hero this dump needs!
You certainly seem strong!
From a brave adventurer like you? Nice!
No bloody way, mate!
Gonna sit tight and finish my beer.
Some poor sod already signed up for the doom patrol.
I'm just here enjoying my brewski.
Oh, hell no!
Already got someone out there dancing with danger.
Time for me to just kick back and chug this beer.
Hell no, mate!
Some other hero's out playing monster bait.
I'm kickin back with my favourite brew.
Nah, don't worry about it!
Some lunatic already took up the challenge.