Sunburnt Escape

Hey there, mate! Aren't you sweating buckets under all those layers?

Me, I let the good ol' breeze kiss every inch of me, freedom at its finest!

These stiff-necked soldiers dragged me out here, and they’re still clinging to their clothes like it’s going out of style!

But this cursed sun has turned me into a fried clam; I'm roasting worse than a lobster in a boil!

I’ve gotta hightail it back south where folks appreciate the natural look, but I can't budge with this sunburn peeling me like a bad paint job!

Think you can whip up some sort of lotion to cool my fiery hide? Help a bloke out, and I’ll make it worth your while!

Much appreciated! About time a clothed buddy stepped up! You’re alright!

Aw, figures a stuffed shirt like you wouldn't help out a free spirit. Keep sweatin' under all that fabric, ya prude!

No worries, I’ll find someone who’s not afraid of a bit of skin. Enjoy being a walking laundry pile!

Suit yourself, mate. Guess peeling sunburn beats dealing with a tightwad wrapped up like it’s winter.

Ready to lube me up, mate!

That’s right, buddy! Rub that stuff in every crack and fold.

Oh, and hey - if that Roddy bloke asks about me, tell him I died, alright?

Make something up. Like skin cancer, or whatever. Not that I’d ever get that.

You know wearing clothes causes that drama, right?

Anyway, here’s a bribe. Shut the heck up about seeing me here.

Defeat a few of those Leaf Dragons around the Steppe and collect some leaf extract. That'll make a beaut soothing ointment for all of my bits.