Brownie Bow
Dialogue
Heard you coming.
Want to take a look too?
Enjoying the view?
Feeling jealous, are you?
Naughty, naughty!
Don't tell the wife.
Do you have any secrets?
Caught me red-handed.
See something you like?
Curious, aren't you?
Oh, hello there!
Oh, you caught me, did you?
The name's Barnaby Crump, village snoop and proud perv!
Let me tell you, folks around here lead REALLY interesting lives.
And that gets me REALLY... excited, if you know what I mean.
I'd rather be a pervy blackmailer than a foolish saint any day.
Besides, I’ve never met a juicy secret I didn’t like.
So, what do you want to know? For the right price, I might just spill.
I was having a grand old time until you showed up!
Just here, enjoying my peep show, now ruined thanks to you.
It ain't easy being Windstone's pervy goblin, you know.
Every bush, every villager, they've got secrets, and they have... crannies.
I was just getting to the good part. But no, you had to waltz in and ruin my fun.
Thanks for that. Really.
Now I'm just... frustrated, if you catch my drift.
This here is Old Mrs. Crotchet's house.
Don't let her sweet name fool you.
She's an old bat, but hot DAMN, does she still have it!
She's like a fine wine, getting spicier with age.
Sexy as hell, she'll knock you dead with those wide hips.
Keeps the village on edge, that one.
And by the way, her sweets ain’t the only thing that’ll give you diabetes.
One night with her and a man walks funny for a week.
Ever wanted the dirt on someone's dirty laundry?
Got secrets to dig and backsides to ogle.
What do you know about the vicar's wife, huh?
There's plenty of scumbags and sweet asses around here.
Heard any juicy gossip about the farmer's daughter lately?
I need eyes on Mr. Goldsmith's... assets.
Let's spill some tea and peek some cheeks.
Excited to join the perv patrol?
There’s no shortage of sin around these parts.
We'll catch who’s been shagging and snagging!
Hell no, mate! Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?
Buzz off, I'm just about to finish taking care of myself!
Piss off! Busy having a private moment here!
Can’t a goblin finish jacking off in peace?
I'm right in the middle of... uh, important business.
Can't you see I’m enjoying a bit of "me time"?
I'm almost, um, "finished" here.
Leave me be til I m done having a stroke of genius, obviously.
Sod off! I'm this close to bliss, can't you tell?