Pappy Rick
Dialogue
Well, look who the intergalactic cat dragged in! Heh.
Ain't you a sight for sore eyes!
Mumblin' space critters and all...
Heh, come to soak up some wisdom from ol' Pappy, eh?
By the gods' toenails, it's another one!
Let's have us a chinwag.
Who'da thunk it! More company for ol' Pappy!
What's crack-a-lackin', you universe-hoppin' rascal!
By my dented helmet, another dimwit!
Come sit a spell.
Well slap my space boots!
Hey there, kiddo! Fancy a huff of moon-dust?
Look what the portal spat out! Ha!
Got any spare smokes?
C'mere, you! Ever tried Nebula-Nip?
Got a whopper of a story for ya!
Well, well, well, the universe doth provide!
What in tarnation brought you here, eh?
Heh, who am I? Ain't that a kicker. Used to be Pappy Rick the legendary space cowboy...
I've spanned more universes than you've got brain cells, kiddo.
Heh heh, there ain't no dust-covered corner of the cosmos I haven't seen.
I was part of a crew... Bet you've never heard of the Warp Whalers, huh?
Heh, good ol' days... or were they the bad ol' days? Hard to tell.
I've got tales of interstellar heists, wild orgies, and enough forbidden substances to fry your brain.
Muddlin' through life now, hawkin' pearls of so-called wisdom. And drugs!
Heh, name it, I've snorted it!
Wanna smoke? Or maybe something a bit stronger?
Ah, well kiddo, I'm still kickin' like a mule in a moon crater!
This ol' heart's still ticking like a rusty chrono-frog.
My leg's been acting up like a damned cyborg on a bad wiring day that time travel sneezed on a robotic chicken...
What the heck was I saying?
Heh, ever blend star dust with swamp gunk? Puts hair on your elbows, if you catch my drift!
Mind's a bit like a time-tangled jellyfish, but the stories are clearer than ever! Want a whiff of this wormstick cigar?
Huh? Where are we? Heh, thought you knew... but let me think.
Some kind of cosmic junkyard, ain't it? Or is it last week's cosmic barf?
Heh, ol' Kwalat, they call it. Sounds like a sneeze. Bless you!
Fallen through one too many portals, I reckon. Hard to tell anymore, heh.
But ol' Pappy's been here so long, they should name a rat after me!
Hell, this dump is home. Ain't it grand?
Reckon it's as good a place as any to end up with your existential britches down, heh.
Heh heh, always another mess to clean up...
Could use a hand with this cosmic cluster... sadly, that ain't a drug.
Got a chore twistier than a moon-worm on roller skates.
Damn straight, I've got something that needs untangling.
Took you long enough to offer.
Heh, reckon I could use a hand.
If you're itching for work, I've got something.
Got myself in a pickle tighter than a gnome's corset.
Well, heck, looks like you drew the short straw.
Can't make heads or tails of it myself... or was it feet and ears?
Heh, nah, I'm good, kiddo...
Already forgot what the heck I need, heh.
Ol' Pappy's got this under control... kinda.
Unless you've got a 'remember-shit' potion, I'm good.
I'll sort it out. Or forget about it entirely, heh.
Just need to figure out what the heck I was doing.