Old Tourist
Dialogue
Well, aren't you a sight!
How the heck are you?
Look who just showed up!
Hey there, hotshot!
What's going on, troublemaker?
Howdy, you rascal!
If it isn't my favourite pain in the neck!
You back for more?
Well, hot damn! I'm Hank McAllister.
I got sucked out of my cushy vacation in a netherworldly paradise to this dump.
Over in my old haunt, there were no monsters, no work - just a whole lotta sun, surf, and booze.
I kinda miss it, not gonna lie.
But hey, who needs all that lazy relaxation when you have adventure waiting, right?
Aw, you know, I’m doing just fine, thank you for asking.
I was travelling with a brave adventurer these last few weeks.
He died trying to clear the way to Crypt City.
Poor bastard didn t stand a snowball's chance in hell, bless his heart.
The monsters out there are tough as nails and meaner than a rattlesnake in a heatwave.
But hey, you look strong! I bet you could take 'em.
If you make it back, I'll even have a cold one waiting for you!
So many trees, and I mean so many damn trees.
Looks like nature went on a bender and puked them all up, huh?
But hey, it's got that rustic, quaint charm.
Like one of those fancy postcards you'd send your grandma.
Honestly, I don't know much beyond that.
I was drunk during the tour.
Oh hell yeah!
You're a lifesaver, partner!
Damn straight I could use a hand.
Knew you were a total hero!
You bet your sweet ass I need help!
A knight in shining armour, only more badass!
You're just the hero this dump needs!
You certainly seem strong!
From a brave adventurer like you? Nice!
No way, bud!
Gonna sit tight and finish my damn beer.
Some poor bastard already signed up for the doom patrol.
I’m just here enjoying my brewski.
Oh, hell no!
Already got someone out there dancing with danger.
Time for me to just kick back and chug this beer.
No way, partner!
Some other hero's out playing monster bait.
I'm kickin back with my favourite brew.
Nah, don’t worry about it!
Some lunatic already took up the challenge.