Postmaster Phobius

Inspector Phobius, Postmaster General, at your service.

I ensure that every stamp and package in Riverrise is meticulously managed.

Postage might seem trivial, but believe me, it’s the glue holding our universes together.

A misdelivered letter? That’s potential chaos!

Send a porno magazine to the wrong elderly lady, she could die!

So, my duty is of the highest importance.

Each package could bear the weight of worlds.

Oh, it’s a disaster! One misplaced love letter and we have seven broken engagements across three cities!

Don’t get me started on the incident involving a supposed artifact that turned out to be a very persuasive toaster.

People were worshipping it!

So, how am I? Let’s just say I’m doing god’s work.

Our post office is the heart of the community, ensuring life’s essential rhythms continue unabated.

Think of it: a lost package could unravel the very fabric of society!

Our world holds together because every stamp lands precisely where it belongs.

Without us, Riverrise would descend into pandemonium, I’m sure of it!

Ho ho! A noble offer, but the postal gods have deemed you unworthy!

Sorry, rookie. Mail delivery is a delicate art, not for the faint of heart!

Mail mishaps? Not on my watch, my friend!

Appreciate the gesture, but I don’t need another 'interesting' incident to add to my tales.

Haha, thanks, but I don’t want today’s mail to end up in next week’s trash.

Absolutely! You shall be inducted as an honorary mailman!

Indeed, I dub thee a bearer of parcels! Prepare for duty!

You are now an official courier in the name of universal order!

By the power vested in me, you are now a provisional mailman!

Gladly! Your zeal will be rewarded with a ceremonial postal badge!