Red Trees Druid
Dialogue
Damn it, another one!
Stupid tree! Oh, hi.
What the hell now?!
Get out of here, you lousy shrub!
You want something, leaf-brain?
Fucking foliage
Oh, it's you.
Hey, tree-hugger!
You here to watch the chaos?
I'm Thorn Blightwood, a thorn in the side of these damn trees.
I used to be a druid, but now I'm a professional plant hater.
On my world, the plants only had nice things to say. Here... they're disgusting!
These awful trees drove me to madness, and I'm taking them down with me.
I even went vegetarian. I love hearing them scream as I chew!
Burn in hell, you green bastard! Oh, right. What was I saying? Yeah, I'm Thorn.
How am I? Just had a shouting match with a damn fern!
This stupid vine called me a 'sap-sucker.' Can you believe that?!
Spent the morning yelling at a tree stump... again.
Those leafy bastards are relentless.
Oh, and Mary Jane Greenpuff? She kicked my ass, but at least she shared her stash afterwards.
Imagine getting your ass kicked and then getting high as a kite.
I'm still plotting my revenge.
This dump? It's Westwind Woods, a hellhole for vicious plants.
These creeps whisper in the wind, calling me names like 'bark-for-brains.'
Damn dandelion called me a 'friggin' fungus,' can you believe it?!
I'd torch this whole place if I could. Oh wait, I know just the artifact for that.
There's a relic nearby that will set this entire forest ablaze.
Imagine this godforsaken greenery turned to ashes. Such sweet, sweet silence.
Help? Hell yes!
These damn leaf lickers need to be incinerated.
You bet your ass I need help.
These twig twats won’t burn themselves!
Let's wreak havoc on these green jerks!
Oh, hell yes! I've got a vendetta and plenty of matches!
Nah, busy yelling at these leafy pests!
Get lost, I'm telling this tree who's boss!
Nope, these bark bastards need a verbal beatdown!
Keep walking, I'm in the middle of cursing out a shrub!
Not now! Busy insulting this damn fern!