Yoga Girl
Dialogue
Hi! Are you extra enlightened or just happy to see me?
Namaste. Got any weed?
Namaste! That means "Hi!" in Sanskrit!
I can put one foot behind my ear. For a small fee.
I'm Tiffany Aurora, a spiritual voyager with an awesome body from another world!
I came here with my friend Cassidy.
Back home I was a professional dancer, but classy, you know? No touching!
Cass got me into that mystical mumbo-jumbo. I didn't really believe in it. Boy, was I mistaken!
I was getting spiritually cleansed by this mystic dude when everything started glowing. The universe kind of exploded and we ended up here!
I mean, talk about a bad trip! Am I right?
Fortunately, we ran into Guru David. He's French.
He's a fake, sure, but he's all right.
He takes us in at his place.
At night we party with paying guests in the Yoga House.
I mean, a girl's gotta live, even on this ridiculous planet!
Okay, I guess.
I could use a puff of Mango Tango, but I'm not sure it even grows here!
Business has been pretty good.
We've been teaching the locals all kinds of new things!
Sometimes they pay us with cabbages or whatever.
We gotta eat, right?
This is Goldenfield. It's a village full of poor people and stuff.
My friend and I live in the Yoga House with Guru David.
We teach special lessons at night. I call it "Yoga with Lube."
It ain't so different from what I was doing on my home planet, to be honest.
Are you open to an enlightening experience?
Wow. Really? That's so nice of you!
Why thank you! I'm very grateful when people do me favours and things.
I do, but NO TOUCHING. Not without an invite, I mean.
I'm all set for now. It's almost time for another special lesson.
Nah. I'm too sore for any action.
My world is karmically balanced at the moment, thanks!
I'm fine. Go ask some poor person.