Funds of Faith

Alright, you listen here! If you want to prove yourself to the church, you'll cough up 500 Gold. Yeah, you heard me right!

Damn it to hell! How do you expect to get anywhere without showing some dedication?

I can't remember which abandoned house I stashed it in, but it could be 1 of 3. Head southeast, across the road. There are 3 abandoned houses triangulated in the woods. One of those damned houses has my... stash.

Well, I'll be damned! Go get me that stash immediately!

For fuck's sake, if you're not ready, don't waste my time!

These funds are crucial. They'll secure us passage through the damn portals.

You don't have that kind of money? Fine! I've got a stash hidden of... some stuff. You go find it and bring it back for me.

It'll help you ascend dimensions or some mystical shit like that. Don't eat until you're far away from here!

You are ready for... ASCENSION! Now you can know our secret.

Take this rare mushroom and go eat it in the woods.

Jesus H. Cheezus, are you even trying? Come back when you're serious!

You're moving up, sugar! Welcome to Level 3 of the church, dubbed the 'Mushy Devout.'

Well, hot damn! You actually did it!

Alright, spit it out! You got my stash or what?