Red Trees Druid
Dialogue
Damn it, another one!
Stupid tree! Oh, hi.
What the fuck now?!
Get outta here, you shity shrub!
You want something, leaf-brain?
Fucking foliage Oh, it's you.
Hey, tree-hugger!
You here to watch the shitshow?
I'm Thorn Blightwood, thorn in the ass of these fuckin' trees.
Used to be a druid, now I'm a professional plant hater.
On my world, the plants only had kinds thing to say. Here... they're vile!
These shitty trees drove me to madness, and I'm dragging them down with me.
Even went vegetarian. Love hearing them scream as I chew!
Burn in hell, you green bastard! Oh, right. What was I saying? Yeah, I'm Thorn.
How am I? Just had a shouting match with a fucking fern!
Damn vine called me a 'sap-sucker.' Can you believe that shit?
Spent the morning yelling at a tree stump... again.
Those leafy bastards are relentless.
Oh, and Mary Jane Greenpuff? She whooped my ass, but at least she shared her stash after.
Imagine getting your ass kicked and then getting high as a pine tree.
I'm still plotting my revenge.
This dump? It's Westwind Woods, a hellhole for vicious plants.
These fuckers whisper in the wind, calling me names like 'bark-for-brains.'
Damn dandelion called me a 'friggin' fungus,' can you believe it?!
I'd torch this whole place if I could. Oh wait, I know just the artifact for that.
There's a relic somewhere nearby that'll set this whole forest ablaze.
Imagine this godforsaken greenery turned to ashes. Such sweet, sweet silence.
Help? Fuck yes!
These damn leaf lickers need incinerating.
You bet your ass I need help.
These twig twats won t burn themselves!
Let's wreck havoc on these green shitheads!
Oh, fuck yes! I've got a vendetta and a lot of matches!
Nah, busy yelling at these leafy shits!
Fuck off, I'm telling this tree who's boss!
Nope, these bark bastards need a verbal beatdown!
Keep walking, I'm in the middle of cursing out a shrub!
Not now! Busy insulting this fucking fern!