Yoga Guru
Dialogue
'Ello! Your chakra is tres magnifique!
Let there be how you say, peace onto you!
Namaste! Shall I fondle your chi?
Bonjour! Seeking wisdom? We 'ave a special on wisdom this week.
I am Guru David, a guide to inner harmony. Needless to say, I am French!
One day I fell through a portal tres mysterious! Zut alors!
I found myself in a place filled with - I merde you not - thinking plants!
There, I learned the arts of yoga and meditation. From ferns, mostly. Tres flexible ferns!
There wasn't much else to do. They were fucking PLANTS.
Eventually I escaped, making my way to Kwalat.
Here I'm known as "Guru David." I teach the art of yoga.
I have two acolytes lucieux, Tiffany and Cassidy.
At night we teach other lessons - for a petit contribution. I'm not proud, but it's a living.
Bien! I surf the waves of the universe s energy.
I live to bring joy and serenity to others!
Tiffany and Cassidy are my how do you say, bitches? No, acolytes!
Tonight Cass will teach the Downward Buffalo pose.
Tiffany will practice the Librarian Vilaine, if you ask politely!
This is Yoga Lake. I came here after I escaped the fucking talking ferns.
The people here are tres amical!
They helped me set up my Yoga school.
Tiffany and Cassidy have become my acolytes.
We provide special lessons in the evening.
They're very loud when achieving spiritual enlightenment.
Ah, you are in harmony with the universe! Oui, I need help.
You are just who I am goddamn looking for! Namaste!
You are a fucking lifesaver, ami!
Tres bien! Yes!
I am a guru of few needs, mon ami.
I am at peace with the universe today, merci!
I am one with everything today. Come back tomorrow!
Not today! I am very worn out from special classes last night.