Frank

Who am I? Your friendly neighborhood mailmanr, Frank.

Started in a mailroom where robots went rogue fun times.

Accidentally zapped through a portal, ended up here in Riverrise.

I m the guy who keeps this post office barely functional.

Pretend all you want, but we both know I run this place.

How am I? Living the dream, pal.

Just framed the Postmaster for mail fraud; let's see how he likes that.

If this place doesn't kill me, the laughter will.

You should ve seen the Postmaster's face priceless.

This post office? Not the worst cesspool I ve sorted mail in.

Sure, it s a dump, but at least we don t have radiation leaks. Yet.

Between you and me, some days are like a vacation compared to the dystopian nightmare I came from.

The folks here think they ve got mail problems? They haven't seen real hell.

Used to have to chainsaw demons just to deliver papers.

Ha! You wouldn t last a minute.

Trust me, this is beyond your pay grade.

Don't bother; you'd just screw it up.

Nah, you'd probably just lose a finger.

Appreciate it, but you d be more of a liability.

I ll pass, unless you ve got a death wish.

Thanks, but I like watching you struggle from a safe distance.

No offense, but I d rather not babysit.

Sure, if you think you can handle this mess.

Yeah, I got something, but it ain't for the faint-hearted.

Think you're tough enough? We'll see.

Fine, but don t come crying to me later.

Yup, got a job that ll knock your socks off. Or worse.

Alright, but don t blame me if you regret it.

If you ve got the guts, I ve got the work.

Ready for a nightmare? Help away.