No Witnesses to Glory

There are five of those wretched posters scattered around Goldenfield. Be a dear and tear them down, will ya? And keep it hush-hush, no need for unnecessary attention.

Bloody hell! You daft or what? This is important!

Oh, for crying out loud! You don't know what you're missing!

It's all a load of cobblers, really. But these fools keep poking their noses around, causing me no end of trouble.

Those blasted posters, claiming my beloved cult members are 'missing'. Ha! They're not missing, they've 'ascended', damn it!

Before I share anything, you'll need to help me with a little problem. A problem these damn busybodies have caused with their bloody posters!

And to do that, you have to complete... uh... our initiation tests! Yes...

Oh dearie, you want to know my secret to interdimensional travel? You'll have to join my cult - er, church - first.

Here's your well-deserved reward. If you want our secret, you'll have to keep ascending!

Consider yourself promoted! You're now officially a 'Mushroom Minion, Level One'!

Damn it! Enjoy living your boring, clueless life.

Well, bugger me sideways! You actually did it!

For crying out loud, tell me you got those fucking posters!

Alright, love, you're in! Now, get out there and rip those bloody posters down.